I dont know why, these few days I just feel that everything that I do is so wrong. I mean..

I'm happy hanging out with my friends and doing fun stuffs together but I dont noe why these few days, my soul is like not in peaceful states. Maknanya jiwa I mmg x tenteram.

And I feel like going home everyday if can.

I've never been a homesick before and these few days, I think I getting to feel weird..

I mean, not that kind of 'weird',.. Its the weird feeling that.......

"Have u ever thought about ur future husband or wife??"

I mean, do u ever sit down and think about ur future of having a very good family and take good care of them?? I noe its kinda weird if i ask u here.. haha

Yeah, lebih2 lagi, honestly, I dont really like kids. I mean, I'm not being to be cruel or something but its just that maybe its not the time yet to think all about these.

Yeah, its too early.. We have to focus on our future career..

By da way, I kept worrying about my studies...

Can i do it???? Adakah masa hadapan ku akan jadi cerah????

I know, it really looks like that I'm being paranoid.. But i dunno la...

huhuhu....

But seriously, when I went back home, its just like my energy is like charging itselfs up!

yes, when i went back home, my confidence and determination to achieve my goals is high!

Yeah, it all thanks to my parents for being encourangement to me... thanks a lot. I really love them....

But, when I think back again, I also feel worried that will I really survive in california, US later on??

I can adapt to the surroundings but I'm scared about my studies at the same time...

And also, what if I didnt fly together with my friends????

I dont mind to make new friends there but it wouldnt be fun and I maybe feel not really comfortable with the new friends..

Cause right now, all the "M" members is like my own family.. I love them sooo much!

Oh how much of memories and troubles that we have been through!

I know, sometimes it maybe hurt but through it we get to learn what is actually live is about and we have to live through it with PASSION...

Oooo yes....

Maybe people will look at me as a 'sombong' type maybe..

hahah.. I think since I went back from the National Service, seriously, I feel so shy to talk with guys..

With the school friends I dont really mind cause they were my friends for a very long time! Study together and see each other in class everyday!

But, now, I feel damn shy to talk and start coversation with new friends.. With girls, nevermind but with boys, i kinda... haha.. u know..

That's why sometimes I dont really or malas nk layan with the guys cause there are nothing to say anyway.. ahahha..

Melainkn, kawan rapat, mmg la ada byk gler nk cakap pn!!! I think sampai malam pn x habis2!!

tu yg slalu tdo lmbat.. hahah..XD

Well, I think I want to stop to be sooooo emo and paranoid..

I think if u read these, u will think that Oh! How emo am I and how sooo paranoid am i!

Well, i think its better for me to express all my feelings here!

hahhaha... Maybe I would write in my own diary.. And I will read it maybe after 5-10 years later.

It will be funny if I read back again!!!

And yeah, last night and a few days ago, my 2 close school friends called me..

Hahaha..We really talked a lot and I feel relieved when I hear their voices..

I noe it sounds kinda weird here but I really missed them....